No Bad Voices

Good morning, September ~

And just like that, we arrive at the cusp of autumn.

Here’s where I’m at: despite more than fifty years (!) of experiencing the changing of seasons, as soon as I feel the slightest shift in the atmosphere, a sense of unease descends upon me.

I am continually surprised when that first pang of emotion hits. I’ve had a lifetime of practicing these seasonal transitions, so why would my gut feel this sort of punch every time?

The simple answer is: change. Familiarity is the preference of most humans.

Many reasons can be given to explain why even discomfort is preferred as a familiar default rather than trying something new. Usually there are voices in our head directing our choices using paradigms we've developed throughout a lifetime.

I’ve recently dipped my toe in the pool of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a psychotherapy model which views the mind as composed of multiple “parts” or sub-personalities. Conceptually, this aligns with the conversations I often have with clients about the voices in our head, such as the ‘inner critic’ or the ‘self-doubter,' among others.

People often ask me “how to get rid of those voices.” The voices are there for a reason. According to IFS, there are “no bad parts [voices].” They represent adaptive responses intended to protect us from pain and foster inner harmony.

RUMI, whose quote began this Note, expressed the multiplicity of our inner Self beautifully in another poem, entitled, The Guest House. I reference this writing often, as it affirms for me the ever-evolving state of ‘this being human’ condition.

Let’s welcome the season ahead with a hat-tip to our inner voices, allowing them to enter and exit a party only we can host.

Embracing change,